Having worked out that we are no longer sending ambulances to that address that might just be a Woolworth’s in the East End, our obsessive hoaxer has now taken to telling us he is at Gatwick Airport. Sitting on the runaway. Suffering from an itchy penis. Offering us bananas. I must have spoken to him twenty times last night.

I swear that if I ever come across this individual, I will do something with a banana that necessitates an genuine phone call to the emergency services.

Source: Banana Man

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